With a Little Help From My Friends

I'm happy to say that I'm lucky enough to have a lot of friends.  I can't remember when I didn't have a friend.  I guess since I'm an only child I felt the need to seek out someone who would be there for me and that I could tell all my thoughts and troubles to.  I hated school when I started in 1963.  I cried a lot which must have been a sign of things to come. Anyhow, sometime during that year, I found out that I really liked everyone in my class, even the boys.  Even though I cried, I was really worried about another little girl who cried too.  I guess I was drawn to certain people because I remember that I made a couple special friends that year that I'm still friends with today.
Of course friends really became special in the seventh grade.  That's when you need someone to hang out with.  Back then we had a theater in Mt. Vernon.  Momma allowed me to go almost every Saturday.  I usually took a friend and my cousins along.  Mom dropped us off and came back for us.  I don't think Mom's are comfortable doing that today, but this was the early 70's.  Whatever happened at the movies, my girl friends and I talked about all week.  Also, that's when having a phone was a must even if it was a party line.  My dad was still around then and he monitored my phone time.  He didn't want the neighbors hearing me on the phone all the time because they would actually listen in and then tell my grannie and grandpa about what I said when they came to their grocery store.  I started high school at Brodhead High with the same friends I'd been around everyday since first grade.  I didn't realize until my sophomore year, when the schools were consolidated, what a bond I had formed with my Brodhead class.  Going to Rockcastle Co. High School was fun for me.  The little girl who cried at school became the older girl who loved school.  I had one special friend all through high school.  I still talk to her from time to time.  I met a lot of new people and formed another bond. I have a lot of those friends on Facebook.  It seems anytime I mention being sad, sick or worried, I get a post from those old friends telling me to hang in there or that they are praying for me.  I do the same for them.  High school graduation was a sad time.  You sit there beside your friends, realizing you may never see some of them ever again.  I graduated in May 1975 and July of that same year, we lost a classmate in an automobile accident.  In 1979, I lost one of my friends from the first grade to the twelfth in yet another car wreck.  I think about her to this day. 
After graduation from high school, most of my friends went on to college.  That was my intentions also, but a boy from Mt. Vernon stole my heart and I got married instead.  His family was huge.  I went from being an only child with a single parent to being part of a family of eleven, not counting the nieces and nephews.  I loved being a part of this big family, they became my friends. We were together every Friday through Sunday.  I loved my mother in law and a part of me died when she passed in 1997.  She was the glue that held us together.  She wanted more than anything to have children remain close to each other.  If there was a spat among us, and there were several, she talked to us and made sure we settled things.  Her children were all close and still are.  She didn't approve of any drama among them either.  When the preacher was talking about her at her funeral, he mentioned how much she loved her family and how she wouldn't allow any discord among us.  I've been in this family for almost 38 years.  I've had a bunch of sister in laws come and go. I miss the old ones, but welcomed the new ones.  The family members changed, but the love and respect remained.  Only two sister in laws have been in the family longer than myself.  There were nine children in the family, seven boys and two girls.  We recently lost two of the boys and we grieve for them everyday.   I worked several different jobs during this time and attended Cosmotology school.  I made new friends once again.  I met a special friend in school.  She lived in Corbin and we have kept up with each other on Facebook. I also had and still have a friend that has been beside me since we meet in 1986.  I owned my own hair salon for awhile.  It was called Headquarters for Hair Design and it's still located in Mt. Vernon.  While I worked there, I had the pleasure of meeting Koula Carloftis Collinsworth and her daughter Koula Verda.  Koula V. was a year older than my son, Kyle.  They usually came to the shop with us on Saturdays.  Koula and I had such a good times together.  She told great stories about her interesting family. Sometimes if the day was slow, she would say, "Let's just lock up and go to Lexington." There wasn't anything she couldn't do.  One day we decided we would take the kids to Lake Cumberland swimming.  She had access to a pontoon.  I remember saying, "Are you sure you can drive and back-up that big thing?"  She said, "I don't know, but I'm going to try."  She did an awesome job and looked like a model while she did it.  She always looked great.  She could wear a Wal-Mart bag and look great.  She decided to go to college and become a teacher.  I missed her a lot.  A few years later, after she had moved to Laurel Co., I heard that she had breast cancer.  I didn't see her again.  She was tough just as I expected.  I am friends with her daughter Koula Verda who looks and acts so much like her mamma.  She's a mother herself.  Koula would be so proud of her granddaughter. When Koula left, I worked with two more ladies.  One I already knew from church.  The other was a younger version of myself.  She was from Berea and full of life.  Mike and I hit it off with her and her husband.  We did something every weekend with them.  Nancy loved to fish more than any one I knew.  She still does my hair.  She's been a good friend since the late 1980's.  She's special to me.  She's an excellent hairdresser and loves to have fun.  She's loves to camp, fish, travel, shop, ride motorcycles. You name it, she's up for it. She just told me last week that good friends are hard to find these days.  We talked about how lucky we were to still enjoy each other's company and still exchange Christmas gifts every year. 
 Mike had two wonderful ladies that he worked with in Laurel Co.  They were sisters and part of a big family also. I fell in love with those two immediately.  We would have cookouts, parties, and get-togethers all the time.  I feel like I'm part of that family too.  Some of my happiest times were spent with Pansy and Jewell.  They had a way of making you feel loved and they still do.  There is a lot of laughter when they are around.  We don't see them as much as we would like to, but we know how to reach each other when need be.  

Sue Rowe

Kaye Rigsby, MaryAnn Childress, Me, and Becky Saylor

In 1990, I got a job as an Instructional Assistant at Rockcastle County High School.  I would be working in the classroom with an English teacher, her name was Janice Miller.  I went to school before classes started to be introduced to Miss Miller and have her explain what I would be doing.  The school had funds from a government program called JTPA, Job Training Partnership Act.  Miss Miller taught only Seniors that were struggling to graduate.  It was a great program and I remember those students so well.  The classes were small, only ten or so, and the classroom was small.  The day I first met Miss Miller was to be a day I will forever be grateful for.  I was shown to her classroom by the Principal.  He knocked on her door and she opened it with a big smile.  I remember that she was barefoot.  We were introduced and began one of the greatest friendships in my life. 
I loved working at RCHS and with Miss Miller.  I had so many friends there and still talk with some of them often.  I started a lasting friendship with the girls in the office, Becky and Sondra.  They remain my close friends.  Becky and I have been on several vacations together.  I've watched her children grow up to become successful adults.  I also inserted myself into her family who live in Monticello.  I've grieved with her when she's lost several family members and I've laughed way too much with her.  When we're together it usually means trouble.  

Me and Janice Providence, RI

I was in the classroom with Janice from 1990 until 1994 thereabouts. We moved into the new high school building, Janice became the Guidance Counselor, and I started working in the office.  We still saw each other everyday.  Our boys, we each have two, have grown up, gone to college, married and became parents while Janice and I have been friends.  It's hard to believe time has passed so quickly.  I left the high school for a job at the Central Office in 1996 where I once again made a lot of good friends.  My office mate, Sue Rowe was one friend I will never forget.  I was with Sue more than my own family.  We got along 
so well.  We were in a pretty small space, the work was hard and stressful, but we still managed to find humor in it.  We invented our own way of talking to each other.  We quoted people and each other and no one else had a clue what we were talking about.  Sue was a fine, christian woman.  She was tested several times while I knew her.  Her husband died unexpectedly, her mother passed away, she suffered a heart attack and then was hit with Cancer and all that treatment entails. Those things were all horrible, but the worst, in my opinion, was the loss of her son.  He was a manager at a pizza place in Laurel Co.  A late order came in and he was kind hearted like his mother and offered to deliver the pizza himself.  When he knocked on the door, a woman answered and a man appeared out of  the darkness and beat him to death with a iron pipe.  I often  compared Sue to Job in the bible.  She, just like Job, was given so much to bear, but their faith never dwindled.  The last time I saw Sue alive, she was in the hospital.  She smiled and spoke my name.  After that she wasn't lucid.  I do believe she knew I was there.  She passed away less than a week after my visit.  I find myself thinking, I believe I will go visit Sue, but then I remember she's not at home anymore so I go visit her at the cemetery. 

After I left the high school and went to the Central Office, I still talked to Janice several times a week.  It was hard for her to get away because her children were small, but we did manage to go to the movies and out to eat often.  I took my first plane ride sitting beside Janice.  She was scared to death and I was fascinated. 
God gave me Janice.  I am certain of that.  We never would have even met if He hadn't had a hand in it.  We are alike but yet different.  She is very, very intelligent and schooled.  I am dingy and just have a little college under my belt.  I feel smarter when I'm with her though.  She has the gift of knowing what to say when I'm upset or mad.  She's even gone with me to the Dr. where she actually told the Dr. things he needed to know about me.  She's dropped everything and came to rescue me when I was at my lowest times. I think she's the sister I never had.  I know people think we are an odd couple, but hey, it works.  I have embarrassed her to death on more than one occasion.  Especially when we first met.  We have never had a disagreement because I agree with whatever she says.  She has been in my life everyday for almost 23 years.  I think God for sending her to me.  I would have never made it through my dark life without her.  She says I'm good for her also.  If she gets grouchy, yes, she does get grouchy, her family tells her that she needs to spend some time with me.  Her sister has told her she wishes she had a "Myrna" in her life too. 
This past week has been particularly hard for me.  I am outspoken and you would think most people know that by now.  Sometimes, since my mother in law is not here to keep the peace, I say the wrong things.  For the life of me I can't keep my mouth shut.  All my nieces and nephews, and there are too many to count, are like my own children to me.  I am always concerned about them. I worry about them and I'm always glad to see them and spend time with them.  The last couple years, there has been an evil monster moving among the family.  We have had more disagreements and hurt each other than all the years combined.  I've been told all this trouble we've been having is my fault.  I tend to think they are right.  It's my fault for caring.  I'm like Ted Kennedy said about his brother Bobby at his funeral, "I see wrong and try to right it."  That's impossible to do.  I can't fix everything. I usually don't get angry.  I get my feelings hurt, or I get annoyed at someone, but to get "fighting mad," I've only got that mad 3 times in my life. So mad that my mind moves faster than my mouth, I scream, my heart races and I don't even recognize my own voice. I was once told that anger was a good thing.  It was the opposite of depression.  I'll admit when I'm that angry, I sure am not depressed.   I have to distance myself from negative things in my life.  I may have lost the love and respect of some family members, but thank God I still have Janice. 
Also this week, I had to have a breast biopsy.  That was not on my schedule.  It was benign, thank God.  But the experience just added to my horrible week.  
I consider myself blessed beyond what I deserve.  My sweet little Momma is still alive and there for me.  I have a great and caring husband, two wonderful sons, two beautiful daughter in laws, and four amazing grandchildren.  I have my blood family and my married into family.  Plus, I have a lot of friends.  Just when I was convinced I was the bad one and that I only thought about myself, everyone came together to tell me they loved me.  Even those friends from the first grade and especially those from the class of 1975.  My plan is to take things one day at a time.  A lot of changes lie ahead, but I can manage.  Change is good.  I am taking a trip to Las Vegas this week with three cousins from Ohio.  Our mothers are first cousins and grew up together.  We had lost touch for 30 years at least.  We recently re-connected via Facebook and e-mail.  I am looking so forward to spending time with these three.  I keep repeating this over and over in my head, "If your lucky enough to have one true friend, then your lucky enough."

Jewell Buckles, Mike, and Pansy Harris